I really wanted to write something witty, upbeat and thoughtful about the last year, however, it was a truly difficult year for me. Emotionally, it was on par with 2010, the year I lost my mother, my cat and my job… while not as catastrophic, certainly full of highs and lows.
I’ve come to realize just how complex relationships are and appreciate the importance of honesty, accountability, sincerity and remorse. I’ve also learned how an apology can make a world of difference and how we show respect in the little things we do too, when that is missing things can really fall apart. I’ve also seen how shame can beat a person down and make him feel small and insignificant.
During all of this I let myself get drawn away from the things that are important to me, the self-care rituals like journaling, meditation, yoga and exercise. I can feel the neglect both in my mental and physical state. Every day I find myself putting it off for ‘tomorrow’ and more often than not tomorrow never comes, and things don’t feel any different or get any better.
I can say without a doubt that I have absolutely no idea what 2017 it going to bring. My one sign that things just might be OK, whatever that means, is that my kitty Lola, who has been moored on the dining room table for the better part of the last year has started to venture out and has spent that last few days on my lap in the living room. She came to me in a time of need for something light in this world and showed me that no matter how dark I may feel, I will at least have a fat cat purring in my lap.